This simple lesson speaks so clearly to a mind like mine, and yet, it seems to be a constant struggle for me. Each day there seems to be more and more gravel and sand, and less and less golf balls. Of course, there is always room for coffee in my life, but anymore, there is seldom someone to share it with.
A philosophy professor sat at his desk. On the desk before him sat a quart jar, a box of golf balls, a box of gravel, a box of sand,and a cup of coffee. As his students came in,they took their seats, gazing quizzically at his desk. When the class began, the professor rose to place golf balls into the jar. Upon filling the jar, he asked, “Is the jar full?” His students assured him, “Yes, the jar was full.” He poured the gravel into the jar Shaking it until all the spaces between the balls was full. “Is the jar full?” he asked. With some hesitation,the class concluded, “Yes, the jar was full.” He poured the sand into the jar Shaking it Until every little space was filled . “Now, is the jar full?” The class laughed nervously.“Yes,” they assured him, “the jar was definitely full” The professor poured the cup of coffee into the jar. “I want you realize,” he said. “That the jar is your life And the golf balls are those big, important things in your life. Your family, your health, your children, the passions of your life. The gravel is your possessions Your house, your car, your job. The sand is everything else, the small stuff If you put the sand in first, there will be no room for the golf balls. Take time to play with your children. Get a medical checkup. Do those big important things. There will always be time to sweep the house, or fix the disposal Look after the golf balls. Set your priorities. All the rest is sand.”
One student raised a hand “What does the coffee represent?” The professor smiled and said,“There is always time to have a cup of coffee with a friend.”
Lately this has been especially true. My life seems to be filled up with trivial things like schoolwork, laundry, dishes and computer stuff. There are more possessions in my life that need caring for than people, and more clutter in my life than passions. And I don't want to keep it like this.
The priorities in my life have shifted and are tilting dangerously out of control. I need to do something about it FAST before it all comes crashing down... and I have been thinking more and more about the analogy with the golf balls and gravel.
Right now, there is so much sand in my life, that I can't find the golf balls, never mind the gravel. I need to do some serious cleaning up... and it needs to start ASAP!
THE GOLF BALLS:
God: This means going to church, praying, reading my bible and telling others about what God has done for me and wants to do for them. If the church doors are open, I should be there! If there is a quiet moment during the day, I should be on my knees! If there is a chance to read the bible to my children, I should seize it! And if someone happens across my path, they should hear about and be able to feel the love of God.
Eric: This means I stop everything I am doing when he wants or needs my attention. Nothing that I am working on is more important that the chance to listen to, talk to or touch my husband. The dishes will wait, the emails aren't going anywhere and the clock has no bearing on my marriage. The time we have together has already been filled with wasted moments... I don't want there to be any more.
The Children: This means that story time is more important than facebook and playing pretend is more important that putting away the toys. This means that they are fed, clean and their basic needs are met, but it means so much more. It means a chance to cuddle is more important than the ringing phone, and the moment when they have to tell me something (even though I'm trying desperately to get a shower) is a once in a lifetime chance to show them they matter.
Family: Yes! You're important to me! And I'm sorry I don't always act like it. This one means that I will at least stop what I am doing and drop a birthday card in the mail. It means that anything you need, you can call and know that at the very least, I am listening to you. You are more important than the gas it takes to get to where you are, you are more important in the wee hours of the night than sleep and you are more important to me than my fears of you seeing my messy house.
Friends: You are far and few between, and I am thankful for you. This means that I will do my best to be available when you need my help. Whether it is helping you wash your walls, helping you get ready for a yard sale or watching your children so you can have a date night with your sweetie. I know I seem stretched thin, but my friendship with you is a priority. Besides... there is always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.
THE GRAVEL:
The Animals: Basically, they qualify as gravel for the sheer fact that I am their caretaker. If I don't do my job, I am guilty of cruelty and I am disobeying God. They provide for me, and it is my duty to provide for them - that means clean shelter, good food and water and the little bit of attention they need and deserve. (Besides, it a good break during the day when things get out of control in my mind.)
My Home: Right now my home is so filled with sand that I can barely get to it. But when my main priorities are met, my home must be a consideration. Why? Because it plays a crucial role in my main priorities. I cannot feed my children if I can't get to the fridge or the sink, I cannot welcome a stranger in if they can't walk up the front steps, and I can't make my man feel like a king if he lives in a dump. But this one really can't qualify as a golf ball because it is temporal. It doesn't change of it's own accord and will still be waiting for me after I take time for more important things.
Schoolwork: This one is gravel simply because it needs to be done. Again it has a bearing on caring for my children. If I don't educate them and help them get prepared for "real life" what kind of mother would I be? Yes... unfortunately, schoolwork is important... but never as important as the moments that are shared with those I am teaching.
Serving in the Church: This one may make you wonder... if God is most important in my life, why isn't this one a golf ball? Simple... God has given me other ways to serve Him that are outside of the church. Service is hugely important in a Christian's life, but as a wife and a momma, my serving is best done at home. When that duty is fulfilled, then Sunday School and Nursery and cleaning the toilets comes in.
THE SAND:
This is the stuff that filters in to my life until there is no more room for the important things! (That is why they simply MUST come first!) This is the laundry, the dusting, watering the plants, checking my emails, facebook, random building and craft projects... you know, the daily grind. This is the stuff that needs to get done in a timely manner, but isn't going to make a very big difference in the long run. It has an effect on everything, but it isn't the main thing.
And of course, the coffee... to those of you who know me best, there is always coffee, and always time to share a cup with you. (I may not have anything warm, gooey and covered in icing to go with it, but there is definitely coffee...)
So for my golf balls that have been misplaced and buried, I am sorry... I am digging you out, cleaning you up and making sure that you come first! For my gravel... I promise I will get to you soon... and as far as the sand goes... I'm not adding any of it back into my life... it seems to filter in just fine by itself.
And the coffee is brewing as I write this... please join me for a cup whenever you are by this way. And just brush the sand out of your seat... I'll get to it when I can.
Love Always,
Cora
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